Whether you’re in a new or a long-term relationship, excessive worry about the relationship can be consuming for many individuals. You question how your partner feels about you or worry about the future of the relationship. You seek constant reassurance from your partner or find yourself avoiding your partner to protect your feelings. Sometimes you think it would be easier to avoid relationships altogether, but you also desire the love and intimacy that comes with having a partner.

Signs you may have relationship anxiety

• Constantly questioning how your partner feels about you.
• Physical symptoms such as stomachaches, nausea, muscle tension, rapid breathing etc.
• Regularly fear that your partner is mad at you.
• You feel that if your partner left you, you would not be ok.
• Seeking constant validation and reassurance from your partner.

Why do I struggle with anxiety in relationships?

• You experienced inconsistent parenting or childhood trauma.
• You experienced past relationship trauma or past infidelity in relationships.
• You struggle with low self-esteem or self-worth.
• You have a fear of abandonment.
• Your partner acts dismissive or avoidant (It is possible you may be experiencing anxiety solely based off your partner’s behaviors. If your partner fears intimacy, they may place distance in the relationship and this often exacerbates the anxiety of their significant other. In these situations, it is important to evaluate if this is the right relationship for you).

Five tips to help manage anxiety in your relationship!

• Communication: It’s important that both you and your partner communicate your needs and concerns in the relationship. This will help you better understand each other and avoid making inaccurate assumptions.
• Reflect before you react: If you experience anxiety, it is important to reflect on your emotions and thoughts instead of impulsively acting on them. Taking the time to sit with your feelings and reflect can help you sort through your emotions and identify how you’d like to move forward.
• Avoid the fantasy: It can be tempting, especially in a new relationship, to place your partner on a pedestal and begin to fantasize about your future together. This can make it difficult to view your partner as human and someone you can work through conflict with. Try to remember that no one is perfect, and you are learning new things about your partner every day.
• Practice grounding exercises: Anxiety often indicates that a past memory has been triggered. Grounding techniques can help you stay in the present moment. Try describing things you can see, hear, or feel to reassure you are safe in the present moment.
• Seek counseling: Therapy can help you better understand your attachment style and recognize triggers of anxiety in your relationship. Most importantly, therapy can help you recognize healthy vs. unhealthy patterns in relationships.

Seeking Counseling for Relationship Anxiety

If you’re struggling with relationship anxiety and/or relationship trauma, please contact me to get started with therapy!

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