What Causes People Pleasing?

There’s a variety of reasons as to why you may be a people pleaser. Sometimes it’s an inherent personality trait, other times it’s a learned behavior. Childhood stressors or trauma can cause you to focus on other people to avoid tension and anxiety. If you were raised by an emotionally abusive or narcissistic parent, you probably learned to cater to that parents’ needs to avoid conflict and further abuse.

Why It’s Important to Focus on Your Mental Health 

If you’re a people pleaser, then you put the needs of others before your own and may even neglect your needs all together. You feel guilt at the mere thought of taking time for yourself, making it easy to discount your feelings. Taking care of your mental health can prevent you from feeling resentment towards others and becoming burned out. You cannot successfully help others if you are not taking care of yourself first. By investing time in your mental health, you are ensuring that you are emotionally and physically rested to live an authentic life for yourself and loved ones.

5 Ways To Prioritize Your Mental Health

1. Schedule “You Time”. Make daily time for yourself, even if it’s only five minutes. Factoring “You Time” into a routine will help you make self-care a priority.

2. Practice setting boundaries by saying no to small requests. This may make you feel uncomfortable, but by sitting with this discomfort, you will eventually increase your tolerance of unpleasant emotions. Eventually you can progress to setting more challenging boundaries for yourself.

3. Talk to yourself as if you would a good friend. You may experience undeserved guilt for simply stating your needs or feelings. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend in a similar situation. If the response is kind or compassionate, practice saying the same thing to yourself.

4. Exercise! Physical activity is a wonderful way to invest in your mental health. Any type of exercise, even just a short walk, can help you process emotions, relieve stress, and ultimately release endorphins.

5. Participate in Psychotherapy. A counselor specializing in trauma and anxiety can help you modify any negative beliefs that cause excessive people pleasing behaviors.

Get Started With Therapy 

I can help you understand the origin of your people pleasing behaviors and ultimately relieve you of constant guilt and shame. Contact me today to schedule a therapy appointment and learn how you can get started!

Online Locations: Nashville, Tennessee – Brentwood, Tennessee – Atlanta, Georgia – Sandy Springs, Georgia – Greater Tennessee and Georgia Area