Most of us like to think we’ve left our childhoods behind. We grow up, move out, get jobs, build relationships — and yet, somewhere beneath it all, the experiences we had as children continue to ripple through our adult lives. Especially when those experiences included trauma — moments of fear, neglect, or pain that our young selves couldn’t fully understand or process.

Even if the memories fade, their impact often lingers, shaping the way we think, feel, and connect with others.

Why Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Adulthood

Carrying subconscious beliefs. Children are incredibly adaptive. When something painful happens — whether it’s emotional neglect, parental conflict, abuse, or instability — the mind finds ways to survive. It builds “scripts” or patterns of belief to make sense of the world:

• “I have to be perfect to be loved.”
• “People will always leave.”
• “My needs don’t matter.”

As adults, these subconscious beliefs can play out in relationships, careers, and self-worth. You might overwork to earn approval, fear intimacy, or struggle to set boundaries — all without realizing these behaviors are rooted in early survival strategies.

The body remembers what the mind forgets. Trauma isn’t just psychological — it’s physiological. The body stores stress responses. If you grew up constantly on alert, your nervous system may still default to “fight, flight, or freeze” even when you’re safe. This can look like anxiety, chronic tension, fatigue, or sudden emotional reactions that seem “out of proportion.” Your body, in essence, is still trying to protect you from threats long gone.

Emotional numbness and hyper-independence. Many trauma survivors learn to disconnect from their emotions as children — a form of self-protection. In adulthood, this can manifest as emotional numbness or an extreme need for independence. You might pride yourself on being “strong” and self-sufficient, but deep down, there’s often a longing for connection that feels too dangerous to pursue.

Subconsciously repeating old dynamics. Without awareness, people often recreate familiar emotional environments — even painful ones. It’s not self-sabotage; it’s the subconscious mind’s attempt to “redo” the past and finally get it right. Recognizing these patterns is one of the first steps toward healing.

Getting Started with Trauma Therapy

Therapy, inner child work, mindfulness, and self-compassion practices can help rewire old beliefs and soothe the nervous system. Healing often looks like re-parenting yourself: offering the love, safety, and validation your younger self didn’t receive. I provide therapy with a trauma informed approach. Contact me today to get started.