Traits of a Narcissistic Adult Child

Dealing with a grown child with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is incredibly hard and sad. The full cause of NPD is unknown, but many experts speculate it’s a combination of genetics, childhood development, and environmental factors. Many parents struggle to set boundaries with their narcissistic child, causing them to endure ongoing emotional abuse.

Adult, narcissistic children lack respect and consideration for their parents. They are uninterested in maintaining a relationship with their parents unless it can lead to financial or materialistic gains. Additionally, adult, narcissistic children will not prioritize a relationship between their parents and their own children and will sometimes go no contact from their parent with unjust cause. A narcissistic, adult child may exploit or manipulate their parent and become angry or explosive when boundaries are set. Visit Narcissistic Abuse Support to get more information on the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

The Impact Narcissistic Abuse Has on a Parent

Parents of adult children with narcissism have a very difficult time advocating for themselves because they feel guilty and responsible. Below are common symptoms experienced by parents of narcissistic, adult children:

• Excessive guilt and self-blame
• Low self-worth
• High anxiety and fear of losing or angering the adult child
• Walking on eggshells around the adult child
• Obsessive and intrusive thoughts about the relationship with the adult child
• Depression or extreme sadness
• Difficulty setting boundaries/advocating for self
• Confusion

How to Cope When Your Adult Child is a Narcissist

Allow yourself to grieve: The loss of the relationship with your child is one of the hardest things to experience. By allowing yourself to grieve this loss, you can begin to heal and move forward.

Accept and let go: You need to accept that your child has a personality disorder and is very unlikely to change. Acceptance allows you to stop trying to “fix” your relationship while acknowledging the process is painful.  

Set boundaries: Setting boundaries is necessary to protect yourself from mistreatment. You can love and have empathy for your adult child, but you do not need to endure their abuse.

Stop enabling: You may find yourself enabling your adult child out of guilt. Enabling exacerbates narcissistic traits and makes your child feel justified in their actions.

Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse by an Adult Child

I specialize in therapy for narcissistic abuse. Through therapy you can learn to stope enabling your adult child and set appropriate boundaries. Ultimately you can find peace and acceptance within the relationship. Contact me to get started with therapy for Narcissistic Abuse.