What are Boundaries?

Boundaries are limits we set to protect our safety, mental health, and emotional wellbeing. Boundaries can strengthen relationships with friends and families and eliminate engagement with high conflict people. We can set boundaries for ourselves (personal boundary) or we can set them for others (physical, emotional, relational boundary.) Enforcing boundaries can be challenging, especially if you fear upsetting others. Read below for some tips on how to enforce effective boundaries.

How to Set Effective Boundaries

1. Remember that if someone is upset by your boundary, that doesn’t make it wrong. Boundaries are something you set for yourself, not for others.

2. Clearly communicate your boundary to others and yourself. This decreases the chance of confusion or misunderstandings about the boundary.

3. Follow through on consequences when your boundaries are not respected. For example: You tell a coworker you don’t want to engage in a conversation that involves speaking badly about another coworker. If they continue to speak badly about the coworker, you remove yourself from the conversation (consequence).

4. Be consistent when setting your boundaries. The more consistent you are, the less people will try to push your limits.

5. Don’t explain your reasons for setting the boundary. Other people don’t have to understand your boundaries, but they do need to respect them if they want to maintain a relationship with you.

*Do not follow the above tips if you are experiencing domestic violence and do not feel safe setting boundaries. Please reach out to the following resources: Domestic Violence Hotline – Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence – Tennessee Coalition to End Domestic and Sexual Violence

How Boundaries Help Mental Health

Boundaries are a method of self-care and essential for supporting your mental health. By setting boundaries you can:

• Increase your self-esteem
• Decrease resentment
• Decrease anxiety
• Develop healthy relationships
• Live a balanced life
• Decrease emotional exhaustion
• Decrease irritability and anger

Get Started with Therapy and Learn to Set Boundaries

I specialize in therapy for narcissistic and emotional abuse recovery. A large part of the recovery process is learning to set boundaries with high conflict people. Contact me to get started with therapy for men, women, and teens, online in Georgia and Tennessee.