What is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is emotional and psychological abuse perpetrated by a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissistic abuse lowers self-esteem and can lead to anxiety, depression, and PTSD.  

Narcissistic abuse occurs in a cycle of four phases. Each phase manipulates and confuses the victim to make them dependent on the narcissist. By understanding the cycle of narcissistic abuse, victims can learn to recognize and break the cycle of abusive relationships.

The Four Phases of the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle

The phases of the narcissistic abuse cycle may vary depending on the type of relationship. Narcissistic abuse can occur between family, friends, romantic partners, and work colleagues.

Idealization (aka Love Bombing): In this phase the narcissist places the victim on a pedestal and is overly complimentary and affectionate towards the victim. During this phase, the narcissist may make grand gestures in the form of gifts, false promises, or extravagant dates. This phase moves quickly and causes the victim to develop an intense attachment to the narcissist.

Devaluation: In this phase the narcissist lowers the victim’s self-worth through criticism, emotional withdraw, and passive aggressive behaviors. The narcissist will gaslight (distort the victim’s reality) by shifting the blame on the victim or falsely accusing them of things they didn’t do. This stage makes the victim feel confused and insecure, causing them to develop a dependence on the narcissist.

Discard: In this phase the narcissist decides to abruptly end the relationship, sometimes without explanation. Narcissists discard victims to avoid emotional intimacy or because they no longer find the victim useful. The discard phase makes the victim feel worthless and further intensifies their dependence on the narcissist.

Hoover: In this phase, the narcissist attempts to manipulate the victim back into their cycle of abuse for their own personal gain. The motivation for hoovering can vary, but most narcissists hoover for validation, power, or control. Hoovering further confuses the victim and perpetuates the cycle of narcissistic abuse. Not all narcissists hoover and sometimes the discard is the final phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle.

Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

If you’ve experienced the above in any relationship, then you may have experienced narcissistic abuse. I specialize in narcissistic abuse recovery for residents of Tennessee and Georgia. Contact me today to get started with Narcissistic Abuse Therapy.