What is People Pleasing?

A people pleaser is someone who is highly sensitive to the needs and feelings of other people and who prioritizes these needs above their own. People pleasers are likable, agreeable, and caring, but they also have difficulty speaking up for themselves and being assertive. Many survivors of childhood abuse engage in people pleasing behaviors to prevent tension or conflict. People pleasers are more prone to depression and anxiety, feelings of guilt and resentment, and can lack a sense of self-identity. 

Why it’s Important to Focus on Your Mental Health 

If you’re a people pleaser, then you put the needs of others before your own. You feel guilt at the mere thought of taking time for yourself, making it easy to discount your feelings. Taking care of your mental health can prevent you from feeling resentment towards others and becoming burnt out. By investing time in your mental health, you are ensuring that you are emotionally and physically rested to live an authentic life for yourself and loved ones.

5 Ways to Prioritize Mental Health Over People Pleasing

1. Schedule “You Time.” Make daily time for yourself, even if it’s only five minutes. Factoring “You Time” into a routine will help you make self-care a priority.

2. Practice setting boundaries by saying no to small requests. This might feel uncomfortable, but it will help you increase your tolerance of unpleasant emotions. Eventually you can progress to setting more challenging boundaries for yourself.

3. Talk to yourself as if you would a good friend. If you experience guilt for stating your needs or feelings, try asking yourself what you’d say to a friend in a similar situation. If the response is kind or compassionate, practice saying the same thing to yourself.

4. Exercise! Physical activity is a wonderful way to invest in your mental health. Any type of exercise, even just a short walk, can help you process emotions and relieve stress. 

5. Participate in Psychotherapy. A counselor specializing in trauma and anxiety can help you modify any negative beliefs that cause excessive people pleasing behaviors.

Get Started with Therapy 

I can help you understand the origin of your people pleasing behaviors and ultimately relieve you of constant guilt and shame. Contact me today to schedule a therapy appointment and learn how you can get started!

Online Locations: Nashville, Tennessee – Brentwood, Tennessee – Atlanta, Georgia – Sandy Springs, Georgia – Greater Tennessee and Georgia Area