Understanding Trauma Wounds

For many people the holidays are a time to celebrate and find joy amongst loved ones, but for others, the holidays are a powerful trigger of unhappy memories for those who experienced childhood trauma.

A trauma wound, sometimes referred to as your “inner child” is a part of your personality shaped by early experiences, such as how you learned to feel safe, loved, seen, or ignored. As you grow older, those emotional patterns continue to live in your nervous system and show up in your reactions and expectations. This is especially true during emotionally charged times like the holidays.

If your childhood was marked by instability, conflict, emotional neglect, or unmet needs, holiday traditions can trigger negative memories of these experiences. A song, a smell, or a family interaction can suddenly bring back feelings you thought you’d outgrown.

How the Holidays Trigger Trauma

Examples of holiday triggers include:

• Being around family members who played a role in past hurt
• Feeling expected to perform happiness or gratitude
• Comparing your experience to idealized versions of the holidays
• Revisiting traditions that never felt safe or joyful

Signs that your childhood trauma has been triggered include:

• Sudden sadness or irritability
• Feeling small, invisible, or overwhelmed
• Strong reactions that feel “out of proportion”
• A deep sense of longing or grief without a clear reason

These responses aren’t weakness. They’re signals that your inner child is asking to be acknowledged rather than pushed aside.

How To Cope with Trauma Triggers

One of the most healing things you can do during the holidays is to stop judging your reactions and instead be curious about your reactions and talk to yourself with compassion

Remind yourself:

• It makes sense that this is hard.
• I don’t have to relive the past to honor the present.
• I can create new traditions that feel safer for me.

Part of healing trauma involves giving yourself what you didn’t receive in childhood. Your inner child needs safety, validation, and kindness.

For Example:

• Choosing calm over chaos
• Celebrating in smaller, more intentional ways
• Allowing yourself to feel both joy and grief
• Treating yourself with patience and care

Getting Started with Trauma Therapy

If the holidays feel heavy, you are not alone and you are not broken. Sometimes, the most meaningful holiday tradition you can start is learning how to show up for yourself. Contact me today to get started with Trauma Therapy, offered online in North Carolina, Georgia, and Tennessee.